CHARACTERISTICS OF A PEDOPHILE

Who is a pedophile, anyway ?

Pedophile is a human being. A human being as everyone else. He could be pitiless, selfish, kind, dedicated, stupid, wise, smart, dull, mentally sick or mentally healthy. He can love, hate, sacrifice himself, weep, laugh. He can abuse children with no remorse, or be ready to sacrifice his life for them. Or anything between. Pedophile is just a human being.

Let's try to describe a typical pedophile. Typical to such an extent as a "typical heterosexual" can be described.

Except the compulsory sexual attraction, it's typical for a pedophile to feel an emotional attraction towards children. Such a person is happy when being around children. He feels fulfillment in working with them. He is ingenuously interested in their world and understands it. He is well accepted by the children, they often see him as one of them. It is possible for a pedophile to fall in love with a child. Everyone who once felt in love knows how it feels.

In his life, pedophile encounters many problems few can imagine.
Firstly it is the problem of the sexual attraction itself. There are two ways one can take. Either try to repress it, fight it and deny it, or to accept it. The most dangerous way is to not accept it. The thing which one refuses to accept and denies its existence, is beyond one's control. Such a person is prone to neurosis, doesn't understand and appreciate himself and in the end there's no telling what we can expect from him..
But accepting the attraction is not easy either. The most difficult part is probably the necessity to cope with the fact, that he is a pervert, a monster, even an incarnation of evil itself in the eyes of the public. The only image of a pedophile available to him is the image of the pedo-freak. He listens from all corners of the world how evil and dangerous the pedophiles are and how he must inevitably molest a child once he gets the chance. It is "natural" for him and there are no exceptions.
Does anyone have an idea how such a person feels ? Should he believe that he's the only pedophile on the entire Earth who loves children and doesn't want to hurt them ? On the other hand he recognizes his sexual feelings. What is the truth ? If this contradiction lasts for too long there is a chance a weaker individual might succumb to the "pedo-freak" image. Even if it is horrible, it is sometimes easier to succumb, then to fight against the entire world. Anyway, if he is being persuaded by everyone (even if indirectly through the media) that the love he feels is false and the sexual urge he feels is the only real one, and a very strong one and there's no way of controlling it... and he listens to this over and over again...
Here lies one of the key problems for the pedophile. While we all see many role models around us from the very childhood - how it works between a man and a woman, how family works, what is right and what is wrong - there is no such role model for pedophile relationships. He misses a person he might look at and say - behold, even this man, accepted in the society, who never hurt anyone, is a pedophile too. He has no role model in a way how to behave towards children. How to express his love in a way to make him feel happy and fulfilled withou hurting anybody in any way.
One option is to visit a psychiatrist and commit to him with all those problems. But few dare to risk it in fear of betrayal of life-long stigmatization. And you never know what kind of psychiatrist that might be and how prejudiced he might be.
Where society fails, self-support takes place. There are many pedophile supporting groups on the internet, who offer understanding, moral support, help and offer advice to each other. It's like a group therapy which replaces the (unfortunately often non-existent) support and understanding of the pedophile's family. Thank god this does exist.
Even if one accepts his attraction, there is still a problem of living in some kind of dissimulation. The contradiction in how one is percieved by others and how he would be percieved had they knew what he feels and how it differs form what he really feels is very frustrating. Not only from my experience I know what a freeing feeling it is to commit yourself to someone you know and trust - and not being turned down..
The other difficult problem is in finding such a form of a relationship with a child, which will be beneficial for all the parties involved. An adult person can hardly acquaint himself with a foreign child, so this is difficult to solve. The inability to give love to someone and not being able to care for someone we love can lead to severe depressions. Those more fortunate have a chance to work with children on a professional basis.

Ordinary human being longs for happiness, but not at the expense of others. Most of all those he loves. Pedophile is also a human being.